The Puppet Master

Several months ago, some friends of ours announced that they had gotten tickets to see Jeff Dunham in Tallahassee, along with a couple other friends of ours. JB and I were a little miffed that we weren’t asked to go, but they said they weren’t sure if we would be into it.

Not into it?? Dude. We LOVE Jeff Dunham. He’s “funnier than hell.” So, JB did some digging around, and asked me if I’d rather go to the show in Tallahassee, or a different one in Columbus. I opted for the one in Columbus, because a Saturday would be easier to manage than a Friday for us. So he got the tickets, and we have been counting down the days until we got to go.

Yesterday afternoon, we took Diva and the kids’ suitcase over to their grandparents’ house to stay overnight. (Our son was off with his aunt and cousins at (of all things) a truck mud boggin’ event. Bless her for exposing him to this sort of thing, because Lord knows if it had been left to his indoor-girl mother, he would never have seen trucks hurtling through huge mud holes.) We then hit the road for the over two hour trip to see the puppet master.

It was a rather painful trip. My husband got a speeding ticket a few weeks ago, and amazingly, I think its got him scared. He drove like an old man practically the whole way there! That doesn’t mean that I could relax, though…because he still almost killed us at least three times. I knew at one point we were close to Columbus, so I felt safe enough to not say that the drink I’d had an hour earlier was making me rather uncomfy…I thought we would get a hotel room quick enough. But NO! Somebody had to drive to the other part of town to find the civic center, and then once he’d found that, we ended up in freakin’ Alabama. (yes, I know it’s like RIGHT THERE, but still, it was fun to torture him about driving into another state when I was about to POP.) Forty-five minutes later, we finally managed to get the hotel room, and I practically raced to room 206.

We only hung out there for a half hour, and then it was off to Olive Garden for dinner. My husband and I usually find an Olive Garden everywhere we go. We absolutely LOVE that place. The smoked mozzarella fonduta? To die for! We left there an hour later completely stuffed and happy, and then made our way to the civic center for the show.

We were pretty early, so we found our seats and watched the place fill up. The show was supposed to start at 8 pm. That time came, and nothing happened. Ten minutes passed, still nothing. Twenty minutes passed, nothing, but you could tell people were getting antsy. Finally, at 8:30 pm, Guitar Guy came on stage. I’ve seen him on the TV shows before, but never paid much attention to him. He’s hilarious, and plays a mean guitar! After a short intermission, Jeff Dunham took the stage, and from there on out, I was laughing the entire time. The whole show was extremely funny, but the bit when Peanut was talking about making a phone order to Taste of China literally had me in tears. I came home and tried to find a video of the bit online, but the only thing I can find is this shaky video on myspace. (you can either watch the whole thing, or skip to 3:20 to see the skit I’m talking about.)

After the show was over, we tried to make our way out of the civic center. OMG. It was chaos from the time we left our seats. It was next to impossible to get outside of the place, and after being jostled around for 15 minutes, JB spied some people exiting through a door that had just been opened…so we went that way and headed for the parking lot. And then it was even more chaos than it was inside. Cars everywhere. The parking lot was jammed with cars angled all kinds of crazy ways from people trying to get out, but then it was gridlock and no vehicle was moving period. We were stuck in one place for almost a half hour, and then finally the car behind us managed to get turned around and drove a good ways in the other direction. We watched to see where he went, and then JB turned us around and finally we got out of that dang parking lot. You’d think they’d have some people out there helping to direct traffic! Nope, just a cop on the outside of the civic center parking lot, and that was it. Trying to get back to our hotel was just as awful an experience. By the time we got there, we had snapped at each other enough that we were no longer speaking! An hour and a half after the end of the show, I took a shower and went to bed. Love Jeff Dunham, hate the civic center parking pandemonium.

Getting home didn’t take nearly as long as getting to Columbus…JB didn’t drive like an old man this time! We picked up the kids, came home and unpacked.

If you ever get the chance to see Jeff Dunham live, I highly recommend it!!!


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