Moodiness

I seem to have gotten myself into a bit of a funk.

It might be because the kids have been little hellions on their second fall break of the school year. All day long, fussing, fighting, running in and out making messes. I swear I cleaned the kitchen and living room floors three times in one day. I’m so ready for them to go back to school Tuesday…you have no idea.

It might be because of my new surroundings: a house that is not done the way I want it, all my friends and family are 4 hours away from me, no real social interaction with anybody outside of my little family. I had the strangest image in my head the other day: me as a Sims character, and my little diamond marker over my head was all red. lol

I can’t count the dinner with the neighbors recently, because I felt weird about it the whole time I was there. They might be okay people, when I get to know them better. But my first impressions weren’t all that great. How many people walk across the street to meet the new people when they are half lit? And he acted so dang goofy, I was a bit put off from the beginning. And then as we were leaving, he hugged me. If you know me in real life, you know that I’m not a touchy feely kinda person. You only hug me if I know you really well, and even then it really should be if I haven’t seen you in, oh, say forever.

It might be because I’ve felt like something isn’t quite right with someone I know for a few days now. Thing is, I don’t know who and I don’t know what…something just doesn’t feel right. I’ve had that feeling before, only then I knew who it was for. Driving into work one morning, I felt the overwhelming need to pray for someone who isn’t really a part of my life anymore. This feels much the same way. I would feel better if I knew more, but maybe it’s not really for me to know.

Facebook is great to keep up with people…but this last week, people are posting about things that they are doing or places they are going. If I wasn’t here, I’d be going to those places with them, too. That’s hard to accept, I guess.

Sleep is eluding me somewhat too. Night before last, I woke up way too many times during the night. Last night, I was exhausted, but I couldn’t fall asleep. When I finally did sleep, I woke up around 3 am…to the sound of idling vehicles. I was very confused until I realized what I was hearing, and then I got up to look around outside. Our house is the first one in the subdivision, so we are right by the highway. Two trucks were parked on the side of the road, near our back yard privacy fence, still running. I walked around the kitchen a while, thinking maybe they’d pull off soon, but after ten minutes they were still there and it was really creeping me out…so I went and woke up my husband. He went outside to see what they were doing. That freaked me out even more, and I stood at the front door holding the phone until he came back. When he did come back, he said it was two men, that claimed they were checking signals for Verizon, but neither would show him any ID. Um. WTF would they be checking signals for at 3 in the morning??? I told JB to call 911, just to get somebody to check it out, and he was told that they were aware of the men and that a deputy had already been through there and was verifying who they were. It still sounds off to me, even today…but oh well. I finally fell back asleep a couple hours later.

Today hasn’t been great. JB is half sick, and cranky as hell. I’m exhausted and moody. Can you imagine the petty little arguments we’ve been having today? Yeah, it ain’t been fun. After dinner, I sat down to the computer to work on some stuff…and he brought me a glass of wine. Peace offering.

And yeah, it helped.

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