3. 2. 1. Liftoff!

In the ongoing saga of the washing machine that might any day launch right through the roof into outer space, well, there’s a new chapter.

Chapter 1: We got the front loading washer and dryer set last March, after our who-knows-how-old dinosaur washing machine that we inherited from JB’s grandmother finally died a long and painful death. (We estimate it was at least 14 years old.) We were ridiculously excited about it, but especially ME, the head laundry person in charge. I’d never had a brand new washing machine before, let alone one that I wouldn’t have to get a foot stool and lean way over into to dig out wet clothes. (I’m very vertically challenged, people. Plus this killed my back every time.) I fully admit to standing there the first night, watching it go through the cycles. I thought it was, like, the coolest thing ever.

Chapter 2: Sometime just before that summer, I starting noticing a whrrring sound when I used the machine. It didn’t bother me too much at first, and I really didn’t know any other way to describe the noise. I’m famous for not describing things right to people. By that time, we were fully involved in packing years of our lives into boxes and moving to a new city. My husband was also living most of the week in said new city. It wasn’t an ideal situation, y’all remember that, right? Of course you do. I was so exhausted all the time, mentally and physically, that I could never remember to call and get somebody to come check out the washing machine. I only thought about it when I was doing laundry, and on those days I was so far behind on all of it I was just happy that it worked.

Chapter 3: We got all moved into the new house the weekend of October 9-10th. It was a comedy of ridiculous and maddening errors, to say the least. I washed the first load of laundry a few days later. That whrrring sound? OMG. Way louder, and I was so happy that the laundry room had a door so that I could close off the horrid sound. Then I started noticing that, in addition to the awful noise (that I have to explain if someone is in the house while it is running, because they think the house is falling down) the dang thing was moving. Currently, the washer is a good five inches further out than the dryer now. I push it back the best I can, but it just moves again.

Chapter 4: The week before Christmas, I’d finally had enough. JB called Lowe’s (where we bought the set) and they set up a local company to come out and take a look at it. So we thought. I stayed home the entire day waiting for the repairman to show up, because you know the time frame we were given, 8 am-5 pm. By 4 pm, I was already good and mad, and JB called the local company…only to find out that they had never set up a time for us because they were “booked” and then Lowe’s never called us back to tell us and get a different day. Livid doesn’t even begin to cover my feelings that day.

Chapter 5: Over a week later, I’m just hanging around the house, and I get a call from the repairman, who is about ten minutes away and was on his way to the house. Yeah, thanks for the warning, buddy. Anyway, ol’ Smoky came in, took some crap apart, poked around in the machine, and finally said there was a bearing out, Ma’am, and the drum had “too much play”. Okay. So how do you fix it? We’ll have to order the parts, Ma’am, and when they get in we’ll give you call when they arrive so we can take the machine to the shop and work on it. Oh, and the reason it “walks” like that, Ma’am, is because it’s missing the rubber feet on the bottom (thank you FIL, for being so very careful getting it off the truck when we moved). Okay, I say. He puts everything back together, and tells me I can still use the machine until then, Ma’am, just small loads. He left, and I sprayed air freshener all up in my laundry room to get rid of the cigarette smoke smell that lingered.

Chapter 6: As I was washing the first load of laundry yesterday morning…nothing but a set of sheets, not too heavy…the noise was so loud I literally was scared to walk in there. I was afraid I’d find a huge whole in the roof and the washing machine on its way to space. It was that loud! It made it through the day’s laundry loads, and once again JB had to listen to me ranting about the stupid thing. He called both companies, and found out that the parts to fix it were backordered and wouldn’t likely be in for another month. THANKS SO MUCH for telling us that before! Then he turned around and called the other company, and came away with this: if the parts aren’t here in two or three days, they will replace our unit.

Hello…how ‘bout this? How ‘bout you people just come on over here, replace the stinkin’ machine and let’s just forget about the backordered parts that may or may not come in?

It would be so nice to be able to enjoy doing laundry again. </sarcasm>

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