1. People misspelling my first name. It’s not that unusual, really. Just stick the ‘e’ in there. Make the effort!
2. Silly nicknames, at least for me. Having S as my first initial, I have friends that just add the S sound to my last name, and often just call me that. If you know my last name, then you know what I’m talking about. Oh, how I hate that.
3. Crazy drivers. I used to think the city where I spent most of my time back home was full of crazy drivers. I have noticed that, Savannah…while I love you, your drivers are a different kind of crazy. I have never seen such a mix of extremely slow, exceedingly fast, or hard brakers in my life.
4. The neighbor’s laugh. Yes, it is a pet peeve! It is the loudest, most irritating, fakest laugh I have ever heard. It makes me cringe.
5. The word “Why”. This is a new pet peeve of mine, because in the last couple of weeks, it has become my daughter’s most favorite word in the entire world. Me- Go clean your room. Her- Why? Me- Stop chewing on your hair. Her- Why? Me- Do not sucker punch your brother again. Her- Why? See my point?
6. Cats that don’t belong to me. I know y’all are getting sick of hearing about the cats. I’m getting sick of talking about them. But dayum! The count of random cats sneaking up to my back porch to scarf down Evil Kitteh’s food is now up to 4. I don’t even know who these little freaks belong to, but I do know that Mama ain’t feeding the neighborhood.
7. My husband’s sudden inability to find the laundry hamper. Baby, I love you. You know I do. But really…towels left on the sink counter, jeans left on the sink counter? I won’t even mention when I have the whites, darks, and towels sorted into baskets and you toss whatever you want into one. Just stop doing that. Puleeze.
8. My kids rooms. While we’re on the subject of laundry…is my son the only kid who just tosses dirty clothes into the floor of his closet? I truly need help understanding this. He has a hamper just two feet away, empty. Why is it so hard to get from point A to point B?? And the morning search for my daughter’s shoes is always maddening, why the heck does she put them in random places, like her toybox, or her nightstand drawer, or hidden somewhere in the dark and scary recesses of her closet abyss?
9. The bottomless pit that is my daughter’s stomach. Yes, I’m talking about Miss Picky here. She gets home from school, immediately demands a snack. Twenty minutes later, she wants something else. From there on out, I constantly hear, “Mama, I’m hungry.” But all she wants to eat is Doritos, marshmallows, candy. JUNK. So I tell her no, and I get nothing but whining until I get started on dinner. Which she refuses to eat half the time. I can’t win with this kid.
10. My hair. It’s in the growing out stage and I’m currently hating it with a passion. It was cut into one of those stacked bob cuts, and now I want it to be long again. But in the meantime, I’m waking up looking like Medusa, and burning the snot out of everything I touch with a curling iron just trying to make it look decent. I’m this close to just wearing a cap all day every day until it grows out. Ponytails just look ridiculous right now, it’s like a sprig sticking straight out the back of my head. Not attractive.
11. The ugly tile floor in this house. You want tile in the kitchen? Great. Tile in the bathrooms? Lovely. But the living room? What were you thinking, People Before Me? It’s not even pretty tile, so it is not okay on ANY level. It breaks crap, because I’m a klutz and drop everything (Remember Christmas and the tragic death of 25 ornaments?) It hurts my feet to walk on too much, making me wear shoes with those horrid insoles I had to get because 10 years of running my nurse’s butt off killed my feet. Blah. I hate you, tile floor.
12. Wii Fit. Three months of using this and it’s STILL telling me I’m unbalanced. Yeah? Well. I know you are but what am I? Oh, wait.
13. Kara Freakin’ Dioguardi. Honey, you have annoyed me since the first time you appeared on American Idol. So much that, last season, I refused to watch the show on live TV. I recorded it, *just* so I could fast forward through all your pointless babbling. I might just have to start doing that again for this season, because last night you acted so stupid I want to throw stuff at the TV set.
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