Pointy Spoon!

What might come from the mouths of babes? Write a humorous piece of fiction where a baby’s first word is a little surprising.

I have written a post about mistakes in the kitchen, but it’s set for Monday…so I decided to tell the Pointy Spoon story today instead. Only it’s not fiction, because I suck at fiction. This is real life, baby.

My adorable, blonde haired, cherub of a son was an early talker. Most things he said we could understand easily. Of course, I was less than thrilled with him when his very first word was ‘Da Da’. Excuse me, son, priorities? I brought you into the world, had my hoo hoo dilly stitched up because you had a 14 inch head, I will never get into my size 5 jeans again, and you don’t say ‘MAMA’ fist? That’s like 5 levels of wrongness.

One evening, at dinner, my scatterbrained self had forgotten to give my son, then almost  2 years old, a fork to eat with. He had his special set of blunt forks with Blues Clues rubber handles. It must have been a work day because I remember all his Blues Clues forks were dirty. So I had to wash one for him really fast. I guess I wasn’t going fast enough for him, and he was starvin’ like Marvin…because then he started hollering.

“I wanna F*&^!”

HELLO! Head whipping around in shock. What did my precious son just say??

“I wanna F*&^!”

Stunned. JB walked in this time and was equally shocked. He, not knowing that the child was actually trying to ask for a fork, immediately thought I’d let a few choice words fly in front of our impressionable son. (I probably had, at some point or other, but that’s neither here nor there.)

“Mama, Daddy, I wanna F*&^!”

This would be where I finally regained my composure, ran across the kitchen with his Blues Clues fork, just to make him stop. This was the first time we’d ever heard him try to say the word fork, and obviously, it had not gone well. We spent some time after that trying to get him to say the word fork, but he just couldn’t get the word right.

JB, still shocked that his dear son had unknowingly uttered his first curse word instead of the name of an eating utensil, said, “Son! POINTY SPOON! This is a POINTY SPOON! Say POINTY SPOOOOOOOON!”

Poor kid. He was almost four years old before he stopped calling forks pointy spoons.

Mama's Losin' It

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “Pointy Spoon!

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention POINTY SPOON! – Life So Lovely -- Topsy.com

  2. LOL! That is funny.

    My son crept down stairs once when my hubby and I were watch an unrated movie where the F bomb was every other word. Needless to say that for about a week that was the only word Hayden said. 😉

    • LOL! When he was about four, we thought he was in bed and hubby was flipping through channels and stopped on some motorcycle building show (snore). The guy said Son of a B…then we heard this little voice behind us, saying “We don’t say B it’s a bad word!” Yet he had said the word himself…hehe

  3. That is hilarious and your husband’s response of pointy spoon is equally funny.

    My youngest when she was in 1st grade, came home and told us one of the other kids had said the F word. I was totally shocked until she confirmed “Yes, Mommy… he said (spelling it slowly) F A R T!!!” She couldn’t understand why I fell out laughing!

Speak Your Mind!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s