Diggin' a Hole

JB is a joker. Always has been, always will be. It took me a long time (and sometimes, some hurt feelings) to learn when he was being serious and when he was just crackin’ on me. Even now, he can say things in a joking way and it really depends on my mood if I take it well… 🙂

The other night, it seemed like every time JB opened his mouth, he would say something that would dig him deeper in a hole. If we had a dog house, he would have totally been in it that night.

JB: (when a Lane Bryant lingerie commercial came on TV) You know, you could totally be in a Lane Bryant commercial.

Me: (blank stare) Excuse me? I know I’m a little thick in the middle, but I don’t think that qualifies me for plus size commercials.

JB: No, I meant the bras! You could model the bras! You’re big enough for that.

Me: (another blank stare) Jerk.

Later on that same night…

Me: (I saw a mosquito flying around the ceiling fan) There’s a bug flying around up there. Can you kill it?

JB: (pretending to look) I don’t see anything.

Me: I’m serious, I see it flying all around!

JB: You’re crazy. I don’t see anything.

Me: Fine. Whatever. Get bit.

JB: (Mr. Mosquito decided to leave the ceiling fan and swoop in JB’s face, and he goes nuts swatting at it.) Holy crap! Dang bug. (He ran to get bug spray.) Take that! (He sprays the bug spray, at the bug, in the air, not hitting it.)

Me: I told you I wasn’t crazy. Dude, you just sprayed bug spray in my drink! Hey, that’s my shoe, stop it!

JB: Sorry. (finally hits the bug, and squashes it on the floor.)

He did finally go get me another drink, by the way.

The evening ended with him quoting Sir Mix-A-Lot (you know the line, I like big butts and I cannot lie…) and he promptly got decked.

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