This is something that I have actually thought about recently, since we attended a friend’s wedding a couple weekends ago. It would be nice to say that I wouldn’t change a thing about our wedding day…but that’s not entirely true. Oh, I’d still marry JB. That’s a definite given!
Planning our wedding was such an insanely stressful time for me. I graduated nursing school in May, started working at the hospital in June, took state boards in July, and we were getting married in September. OMGah, stress to the max. I was a basketcase most of the time, and looking back, I’m amazed JB still wanted to marry me. I think if I could, I wouldn’t have been in such a rush to get everything done so fast. He would have given me time!
I hate to say it, but I think for our mothers, our wedding became the wedding they never had. (JB’s sister had gotten married about a year before us, but well, it was a rushed situation and the wedding was thrown together in a very short time frame.) JB and I wanted a small wedding. And I guess in comparison to some of the more recent weddings I’ve been to, it was small…we had just over 200 guests. But at the time, it felt like that was too many, and every time I turned around they were giving me more names for invitations. I distinctly remember storming into our house (that JB was already living in), throwing a stack of invitations at him, and dramatically announcing that I was done with it all! I was so fed up with all the bickering over wedding plans that I threatened to call the whole thing off and we would just have a courthouse wedding. Thankfully, JB talked me out of that…he knew one day I would want the wedding memories and pictures. And while I’m glad I have those, if I had it to do over again…I’d totally make a mad dash for the courthouse.
We didn’t have an outlandish number of bridesmaids, groomsmen, or honorary mess. He chose three groomsmen, and I chose three bridesmaids, and then we had two ushers. In reality, I only asked one of them to be a bridesmaid because she seemed to feel left out when JB asked her husband to be a groomsman. They ended up being our biggest mistake…I couldn’t get her to show up at dress fittings, she didn’t pay for her half of the dress (my mom paid for half of all the dresses), and then they both acted strange at the rehearsal dinner. Well, the day of the wedding, they didn’t show up. So we were out a bridesmaid, a groomsman, and a ring bearer (their son). JB talked to his friend, got some lame story about periods and muscle relaxers, and came to the door of the room I was getting ready in to tell me. People tell me that they were sure I’d either taken some good anti-anxiety pills or a swig of something before I’d arrived at the church, because him telling me that didn’t phase me in the least. My mom said while everyone else was talking about hunting them down, I just kept putting on my makeup and said, “Okay.” But I had done neither…I think I almost expected it, and just knew that the wedding would be better because of it. They obviously didn’t want to be there, and their brat of a son wouldn’t keep playing with my dress train, and my numbers were still even. And, really, it was better. We didn’t speak to those two until just last year. So, if I had it to do over again, I’d be much more selective in who stood up with me during my wedding.
We had a simple reception in the church social hall. No bar, no band, no dancing. Just guests, food, and cake. That’s all we wanted. And that’s what we got. Just sharing the day with our family, friends, and the random people our parents decided to invite. Our caterer was thoughtful enough to pack us a picnic basket full of food from our reception to take with us when we left the church…which was absolutely wonderful, because neither of us got a chance to eat! If I could relive that day, I’d politely say “Excuse me, but I simply must try this!” and grab a plate of food. Because, man, I was hungry!
Oh, and I’d make sure not to take down the guy’s mailbox when backing my little Eclipse out my friend’s driveway when we were going to hide it (you know, to make sure my car didn’t get hijacked with shaving cream and condoms.) That part of the day really sucked. And, uh, I still get teased about it to this day. “Remember Stacey and JB’s wedding day? Yeah, when she slammed into that guy’s mailbox! Good times, good times.” (Nope…no photographic evidence of that one…)