Ideally, I would remember to write posts as things happen. But lately, that’s obviously not happening, hence the review posts populating my blog these days.

Today is no different. Only…today might be a little more depressing that most.

I haven’t talked much about a certain situation since first bringing it up in May. The dreaded going back to work thing. I’ve mostly kept it quiet, but um, I’m still looking. And getting extremely frustrated. My biggest fear seems to be a reality…having not worked in almost two years is a huge hurdle. I spent the majority of last week totally revamping my resume, and then sending it out and applying for several positions. I was invited to a second step assessment for one of the positions, but other than that…I haven’t heard jack from anybody. Truthfully, I had almost decided two years ago that I wanted to do something different, I just didn’t know what. I’ve thought about going back to school, but I’m not sure for what. I am in such a weird place right now. I don’t like it one bit.

My kids are away visiting their grandparents this week. I’ve been talking to them every night since they’ve been gone, but by last night I realized they had reached the point that they are running out of things to say. I ask them how their days went, and I can tell they are tired of repeating to me every night that they rode bikes, went swimming, and played with their cousins. I miss them so insanely much; this house is way too quiet without them running through it yelling at each other, and playing their games and music way too loud. Sunday can’t get here fast enough for me, when I can bring them home.

We’ve gotten some bad family news this week. My uncle (mom’s brother) is currently in the hospital, after being diagnosed with lung cancer. There is also some spot on his brain they haven’t identified yet, but they suspect it is causing his eye to droop to the point where he can’t open it. My last update from last night was that he was being transferred and a biopsy was being done immediately. I’m assuming this all just happened, since I first heard about it Monday evening. I just saw him at the end of May, and he seemed okay. I guess you just never know.

The situation is yet another thing that now has me worried about my parents. On top of the never ending home renovation they are going through, my mom got bad news about her beloved dog just last week…that he’s got a tumor that requires surgical removal, yet he’s pretty old and has a heart condition, so surgery will be extremely risky. She’s singlehandedly planning my dad’s family reunion scheduled in a couple weeks. And now her brother and my dad’s brother are both fighting cancer.

It’s hard to be Miss Happy Sunshine today.


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